Real Talk
I’d just like to share with you a very real conversation I had tonight with my oldest friend here known by his steam name, A Change of Pants.
A Change of Pants: Ur gay
Tomato Grandpa: Well
A Change of Pants: woah
Tomato Grandpa: You could have just asked
Tomato Grandpa: I would have told you
Tomato Grandpa: About how much I love dicks
A Change of Pants: cant excape the crushing grip of logic
Tomato Grandpa: ANd you can put that on facebook
Tomato Grandpa: Whatever
A Change of Pants: so when are you going to buy the oscar meyer weinermobile and convert it to fit your sick fantasies
Tomato Grandpa: Already did
A Change of Pants: your receipts for that month will include 1 giant purple thong 1 hydraulic vibrator
A Change of Pants: 1 hula hoop
Tomato Grandpa: I turned it into a giant throbbing dick and I put that dick in my gargage which is painted to look like a man’s anus. You know it is a man’s anus because it is very hairy. I like that. That is my favorite part. I find it pleasurable to drive that penis car into my ass garage. It is delightful. I have parties and I show my other very gay friends and they all also think it is great. We have similar interests, which is why we are friends.
Tomato Grandpa: And you can put that on facebook
Tomato Grandpa: In fact, I encourage you do to do that
A Change of Pants: “I mean, how are you supposed to write a romance if you’ve never been in love, or never even had a semi-successful relationship?”
A Change of Pants: bioware
Tomato Grandpa: great
Tomato Grandpa: I was in love once
Tomato Grandpa: With the great hairy ass
Tomato Grandpa: (it’s my garage)
Tomato Grandpa: Bioware is that garage
Tomato Grandpa: Welcome to the twilight zone
A Change of Pants: welcome to the delight zone
A Change of Pants: whipped cream and thongs everywhere
A Change of Pants: oh man
Tomato Grandpa: hahaha
Tomato Grandpa: Oh man
Tomato Grandpa: Perfect
